Peegly’s Share-your-feelings Service RSS

What's up, people?

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 10:07:13 +0100

Where has Russian Piglia? I ahue

I hate kids but he'll do anything to have them.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:57:27 +0100

I absolutely cannot stand children. I'm not sure what it is about them but just the sight of a newborn makes me feel ill. Once they learn to walk they are even more of a threat to my emotional stability. When I am standing near one I think about how easy it would be to make it fall over. I'm not at all a violent person. I would never harm a fly, but when it comes to children hatred and nausea consumes me. Early on in life I swore I would never have children and I still hold strong to that, but here's my nagging problem.

I'm absolutely head-over-heels in love. I can't see myself without him. We are engaged and have been together for quite some time. He was my childhood crush, the guy I used to daydream about. I know he feels the same about me but there's one little thing that sets us apart; children. He knows how I feel about them. He has known since before we even started dating. I know how he feels about them but he tells me that he "loves me more than a possible baby." Now if that were the case, I wouldn't have a huge problem, but this is what he told me last night.
"I know you don't want to have kids, and you don't have to but I'm going to have one no matter what. It's always been my dream in life to have a child and raise them better than I was raised."
DRAMA ALERT!

I don't know where to go from there! He had to leave at that point so I got him to get out of my car and I sped home to think about what he said and cry myself to sleep. I have never cried myself to sleep for as long as I can remember. I kept asking myself, "what does that mean?", "Does her want to get a surrogate mother and then raise the child himself?" That won't happen with me around. He always tells me that nothing could make him leave me, but that just looks like he's shoving me out the door. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect my feelings, but it would tear me apart not to be with him. Even if he wanted to donate his sperm and have visitation rights, that would make me feel like shit and hearing him talk about said child would push me away even more. Our relationship would completely fall apart. I have a feeling he doesn't listen to me when I explain why I don't want them. He thinks I'm afraid of the pregnancy and childbirth itself. Afraid of the pain and the struggle, when in reality I'm afraid of altering my lifestyle. Giving up a life I love for something I have never wanted. I'm young, yes, but I'm successful. He on the other-hand, is not. I'm 5 years younger than him. I've finished school, I have an amazing career and I can support myself. I have always known what I have wanted out of life, and he's still in college trying to figure out what he's going to do for a living, yet he's still set on procreation.

The worst thing about all of this is that I believe that he would make a horrible father. I see him with his little brother and sister. I have never seem him act right with them. He yells at them for being what they are; kids. He lectures them to the point where they look like they might cry and then he makes them give him a hug. All the while, I'm sitting in the background looking apologetic! This is me! I hate kids, but when they are treated like that I want to protect them. I want to tell him to calm down. I want to tell him how he acts and comes across to others, but I can't because then I'll get lectured about how I don't know how to speak to children because I "hate them, remember?"

It's quite obvious how torn I am. I don't know what to do and I feel like it's a fist for me. We had absolutely no problems like this until last night and I'm stunned into silence. I feel as if I can't talk to him but I know I should.

Should I break my silence and tell him why I sound so depressed? Or should I just let his childish dream die away? That's what I really think it is; a dream. :(

Yet despite that knowledge, I still fear losing him.

My dad

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:36:02 +0100

I have an unresolved problem with my dad. It's been there hiding for quite a while now. We got into serious arguments about relationships (he highly disapproved of a boy I was seeing) last year. I was able to see that this boy is not worth of my time. But every since then, my dad and I stopped talking. Sometimes we talk if it's absolutely necessary or an emergency. However, 95 percent of the time, we don't talk to each other at all. I don't know how to fix this because I'm too scared. I don't feel comfortable to bring up the whole problem again. And it seems like he doesn't want to talk to me either. I just want us to be okay again, like the old times, before college starts. But I don't how to start. Any advice or help?

afraid i'm gonna lose her forever....

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:19:50 +0100

been spending nearly 10 years standing on the sidelines of life, hoping maybe she would one day love me. but now it looks like i'm gonna lose her forever and i don't want that to happen. dammit i'm so scared!

the worst part is-- she's never known how i felt about her.

i'm a writer and let's just say i recently turned my life story into a screenplay. look for it to come to a theater near you soon.

I know it's not just me, but...

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:58:49 +0100

So the economical situation is obviously affecting more people than me, and I thought I would somehow be immune to it...but SURPRISE!- it's hit me now too.

I'm a very independant person(some would say too independant), and for some reason have a problem relying on others for ANYTHING. If I can't take care of myself, I feel absolutely lost. And right now, I'm starting to feel like I will never get ahead of the game again. All the things I want to do seem so far away from me now, whereas a year ago, anything seemed possible. Everyone's telling me to be patient, and things will come with time but...I feel like a horse with a carrot on a string in front of my face being led around circles in the pasture.

I never thought of myself as materialistic but I've come to realize that it's not so much about having nice things, but more about the feeling of SECURITY. It's new to me to feel this way, but I'm sure it's old news for others. I just want to know...what do you do to keep going every day when it feels as though things will never look up again??

In theory, I know to "think positively" but really, I can't find the drive for that, or the drive for anything for that matter. I feel like I'm working impossibly hard, and coming out just barely above the surface of the water. I know I still have my health, and I should be thankful for what I have...and I am. But happiness to me is being able to to the things I want...to have freedom. And I don't mean shopping extensively or anything...I just feel frustrated because when I'm walking in the city and say, I want a cup of coffee, I have to think of my budget and calculate if I can really afford it. And now I don't know what to do. Suck it up, I suppose, like the rest of the world....

i fear that

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:15:31 +0100

I'm going to fail high-school

I just want to be happy!

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:04:44 +0100

My Problem is,I don't want to be together with nobody..cuz my dad was really big problem for us(with my mum)he was alcoholic and when he was drinking,he was begining to scare us.but they broke up in may-08..My childhood was terrible..I just remember that I was crying everyday..so now I'm thinkin' that everyman will be like my father and I'm so afraid.Before 2 or 3 years ago I was really funny and I had a lot of boyfriend..but interesting now I don't want anybody :S and thinkin' if I marry with somebody he will be different country doesn't matter where is!I'm ready to learn different language,different culture and change my religion so I'm ready to change my life..if I find a great boy.I wanna be mother.I want to leave my country,my parents unless I love them too much!..am I thinkin' anormal?..I lived very bad things now I want to be happy with different life...I said that to my mom..said I wanna be together who is from different counrty and culture.I guess that everybody same like my dad in my country..so I afraid a lot!..I'm sure about it I will be great mother and have a great family....pls help me..am I thinkin' wrong?..if a person had a terrible time in her life..is it possible to have a new one?can you change your life full?change your language,culture,religion,country??..I just want to be happy in a different life!!

This is it

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:24:41 +0100

I fear that this may be all there is, and that all of my struggles against becoming mediocre are starting to look like futile attempts from a grumpy old coot and that I will eventually turn into my father.

Pregnancy?

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:10:12 +0100

I have a problem. My dream of being a mother was to have only two children fairly close together. Unfortunately I had the first child a little earlier than intended so in order to have the second child I would also have to have him or her earlier than intended. I'm so confused and frustrated. My husband really wants another child and so do I, mentally I feel like I am ready. But financially I'm afraid it could be a disaster. It's not fair that money can dictate when and how you have your own children but that is the way of things in this world. I'm also afraid that my parents will be disappointed with me if I do become pregnant. Not that it would usually matter except that they have been the ones helping me and my husband support our family by providing a little extra income. At the moment we are drowning in medical bills from my last pregnancy even after 80% coverage.

I wish I had known what to do then and I wish I knew what to do now. My birth control has run out and I'm torn between starting a new round or trying for a new child....

I feel alone

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:59:11 +0100

i feel i am alone in this world, no matter how many people believe in me or trust in me, they will all have their own little world that separates them from each other, from me.