So the economical situation is obviously affecting more people than me, and I thought I would somehow be immune to it...but SURPRISE!- it's hit me now too.
 
I'm a very independant person(some would say too independant), and for some reason have a problem relying on others for ANYTHING. If I can't take care of myself, I feel absolutely lost. And right now, I'm starting to feel like I will never get ahead of the game again. All the things I want to do seem so far away from me now, whereas a year ago, anything seemed possible. Everyone's telling me to be patient, and things will come with time but...I feel like a horse with a carrot on a string in front of my face being led around circles in the pasture.
 
I never thought of myself as materialistic but I've come to realize that it's not so much about having nice things, but more about the feeling of SECURITY. It's new to me to feel this way, but I'm sure it's old news for others. I just want to know...what do you do to keep going every day when it feels as though things will never look up again??
 
In theory, I know to "think positively" but really, I can't find the drive for that, or the drive for anything for that matter. I feel like I'm working impossibly hard, and coming out just barely above the surface of the water. I know I still have my health, and I should be thankful for what I have...and I am. But happiness to me is being able to to the things I want...to have freedom. And I don't mean shopping extensively or anything...I just feel frustrated because when I'm walking in the city and say, I want a cup of coffee, I have to think of my budget and calculate if I can really afford it. And now I don't know what to do. Suck it up, I suppose, like the rest of the world....