i never looked ahead of my years and thought i would be where i am now. that seems to be the case for most people, but the reality of it is so real that it still scares me. how one deciscion changed the face of my whole world. my whole world...
 
i never imagined falling in love at 15. and when it happened it was so innocent. right at the end of summer and beginning of fall,where the coolest of breezes lifted my young love to the heavens like a kite that thought it would never float back down.
 
i'll never forget how my parents reacted. it nearly took my life. how do you cut yourself from your own child like that? how do you look her in the face and grimace with such real passion? over a boy? that i love?
 
you hurt me deeply momma. i thought we were better than that. why did you attack me like that after school? you scarred my face that time. why do you walk around like i'm a grudge you have to get over. i just want you to meet him. please, stop ignoring me. i'd rather you yelled. but this is worse.
 
those angry slashes on my wrist weren't from problems at school. it's to deal with you. those extra pills i started to swallow are only practice, daddy. i can swallow more.
 
how did you manage to keep me and my love so far apart? i really wanna know. the time you spent in making sure we couldn't even speak is profound. un-freggin-believable.  and if you must know, that is why i ran away. why i left my two little sisters with you. my freggin' dog. i had lost all sense of reality. and the suicide attempts were getting old. i was tired of looking at everything and seeing the dark side to it. always the optimist.
 
that's why for ever cruel and evil thing you've ever done to me, it's already been done to you. for every tear i cried at your hands, you fight to hold them back within yourselves. i wish you well because what's coming your way is well deserved and wouldn't be wished on my worst enemy. may god have mercy.