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4
In pain
I feel empty and unsure. I'm regretting my choices. I feel like I'm not important and failure. I thought if I my family i would be happier and i wouldn't miss anything else. I thought staying near home would bring less stress on my parents. I feel like i don't fit in any where. I lost myself somewhere in the last two yrs. I hate how don't have a life of my own and how i cant start when i want. I follow the rules i do everything everyone wants and for some reason no one accepts me for who i am. I feel like i only care and do anything to protect others. I can't talk to my family about my problems because i would be ruining the fun. I can't do anything and i want to do everything. I feel like God let me down... i'm scared to pray because in the end it seems like i would be rejected and unheard. I want to feel good again i wanna feel happy, I want find myself and smile and laugh like i use to.
(9 month 1 week ago)
It's amazing how i feel so similar to you. There is a pressure to honour your family, but what happens if you compromise yourself in the process? 
I am currently not in your position, but I can see that my future is possibly going that way, as I am approaching the transition from studying to working, and everything (logic/logistics) and everyone (my family) seems to be against where I want to work. I tell myself maybe I'll go with the flow for a year (to gain experience and prove myself in the working world), then do what I want...but I don't want to get stuck! I had a vision of my life exactly as you described yours...
I'm sorry I have no solutions... i know how hard it can be to stand up to family. How hard it is to truly follow your heart.
I am currently not in your position, but I can see that my future is possibly going that way, as I am approaching the transition from studying to working, and everything (logic/logistics) and everyone (my family) seems to be against where I want to work. I tell myself maybe I'll go with the flow for a year (to gain experience and prove myself in the working world), then do what I want...but I don't want to get stuck! I had a vision of my life exactly as you described yours...
I'm sorry I have no solutions... i know how hard it can be to stand up to family. How hard it is to truly follow your heart.
(7 month 1 week ago)
I know how it feels to be not sure of anything happening right in your life. I am currently suffering the same delima as yours. I moved back with my parents leaving my well paid to be with them. I thought i would find a job immediately. I am terrified to tell me parents that i made a mistake moving back with them. I am too proud to accept to my manage to take me back to my last job. I can't find a decent job in this city and it will be almost 3 months. Addtionally, my parents want me to get married this year. Additionally, i come from a conservative indian family so will have a arrange marriage. I am not sure about anything but only thing i have at this moment is HOPE. Hope to have a better and happier in the future without hurting anyone. I am horrible at advices. All i could say is hang on there.
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