I'm trapped in a room. the walls of this room are what ifs. emptiness surrounding me, nothingness running over me inside of me.. feels like my brain is going to explode.. all i can see is a big WHAT IF coming closer.. i try to push it away, but every time it comes back it gets closer. i wish these thoughts would go away with my tears, leave me alone.. give me a break at least.. i wish and i wish and i wish. every time i see a light darkness takes over again. i thought crying would take all this pain away, it only made it worse. i want to forget, can i forget and what if i forget? i want to leave all this behind, never recall! disremember. regret is invading occupying and capturing my soul my life my being!.. if i could just wake up with no memory, no feelings. numb what i want to be, desensitized.. paralyzed! i hide inside my mind cause i feel safe.. i am shielded inside my mind. and so it will be as from now.