I hate my life. Before I met my husband I was fine, owned my own house, all bills paid on time, my daughter thriving. He has made my life miserable for past 4years. Between the put downs and the cheating and thr verbal and physical abuse I wonder why the hell I have let this go on for so long. I look at his scars everyday and wonder why I let this man get away with this stuff. Is it because I'm just that stupid, or is it because I don't want to hurt our son by making him leave. Yeah visitation blah blah, not this man, he will be out of his life so fast it would make my head spin. He tells me I'm a slut but yet I found him in our bed with some stripper just a year ago. He has cheated at least 5 times that I know about, has only admitted one mentioned abouve, onviously he can't deny that one, I wonder sometimes if I cheated on him would I feel better, but I could never bring myself to do it, that's not me and he has already changed me into a stranger to myself. I work to support us, he doesn't. I let him take 6 months off to go to school, he still can't even fill out a job application. Every bill is so far behind I am struggling to stay afloat. He will do what he wants and spend what he wants with no regard to anyone else. I have to sit and worry that he won't be home on time for me to go to work. I really think I am close to my breaking point but have thought that before only to be swept back up in hs crap. I'm just so tired and miserable and so amazed that 4 years later he can still be so heartless and not care. I want to scream!