I've done something really bad. I didn't want to do it, I was just being pushed to do it. Yes, it was my choice and I take complete responsibility for it, but I was honestly kind of pushed to do it. I feel terrible. I don't know what to do. I want to make this person happy but at the same time I want to make myself happy. My friend stopped it before but asked and pushed me to do it again. My friend also ended it again, and I really wanted to be the one to end it first. I feel really bad. I feel like I did something wrong to that friend, like a mistake to make that friend hate me.  I know I should feel bad I honestly don't forgive myself, and I probably never will. I just want to have the strength to like never do it again...