I have this best friend and she's has been my best friend for almost 5 years. For the first three years of being friends, we weren't in the same class. When I hang out with her during those days, I constantly feel left out and it feels like I don't exsist. I dont know if its because of me being anti-social or her not knowing how I feel. I don't feel myself as being so anti-social because I do socialize with people whom i've met several times, and if we click, we'll soon become friends. Feeling like i've been abondoned sometimes, I wrote about her on my blog. And unfortunately, she read my blog. I apologized to her, and it took us a month or two to finally make up and become best friends again. Does she know that I always feel left out? Because she doesn't really realise that i'm being left out always. And I feel deeply hurt.
Last year, we were selected to be in the same class. And of course, I was really happy thinking that I can get to gossip or talk to her every time. But things weren't what I expected. Her other friend sat with her. Being in a new class, everybody will try to socialize and talk to one another and make friends. So did I. However, some people have their own close friends that they have bonded over the years. So its kinda hard to try to become their new best friends. My bestfriend has some friends from her previous class and their really close. I however, will sit behind them with my other friend. They'll laugh, gossip and talk. I'm fine with them chatting with each other and all, but the thing is, they always make me feel left out. I don't have much chance to talk to her anymore. So i gave her a silent treatment. She realized that and told my friend. Who, told me what she told her. She told me that she thinks I get angry easily, and her friend who sits beside her thinks i hate her. Knowing this really makes me sad. I don't even hate her.
Slowly as time passes by, we made up again. That was last year.
 
but recently, the same thing happened again.
I don't really talk much to her in the mornings now as she talks to her other close friends. I sometimes talk to the other girls who are quite close to me in the morning, but sometimes, they have their own gossip and secrets that has been with them over the years. I of course, don't wanna rub it in and be such a busy body.
 

My best friend(the person that i've been talking about), lets say the girl who sits beside her isnt coming to school the next day, she wouldnt come either. And if coincidentally, her other friend who sits beside her comes, she'll come to school just to accompany her. The opposite happens to me. She won't come if all of them dont come. If her friend(A) is not going to this school activity, she wont go. If I go, she wont go if her friend(A) is not going. Not caring if i'm all alone. BUT if her frind (A) is going, she'll go. To accompany her. This happened lots of times.
 
I feel really really.. i dont know how to say, but its not so fair to me...
 
i have this other close friend, we share gossips, secrets, and we pretty much have lots of thing in common. I told her about my friend last time. I wanna share and tell my feelings to her but this time, i'm not prepared to tell. I hope someone will reply and tell me what should I do..